I Quit My Job!

{ April 30, 2006

I finally go the courage to tell the principal I was resigning yesterday.  She took it well, but she probably saw it coming.  I was completely honest about what I would be doing and where I was going. Plus, I WILL be leaving before the end of the school year. Free at last!  Figuring out how I was going to break the news was a real stress in addition to
Antarctica. But now I feel ready for my next step in my career now that it is over.  I’ll be working as a Learning Disability Specialist at the community college, so it is a bit of a change from being a classroom teacher.  There are some parts that I will miss about it, but I need the change more than ever.  I know I want to continue teaching and maybe after awhile I’ll return to the classroom if higher education doesn’t agree with me.  Today I finished the training for the ESOL tutoring program with the HLC that will be fulfilling my teaching ambitions.  Teaching ESOL has been the best experience I have teaching so far and I would like to pursued it more in the public school system, but there is not much availibility for ESOL teachers.  In the community college sector, its even less and I want to continue in the field or else it will feel like my master’s is useless.  I should be assigned some students in about 2 weeks and I’m excited about being a part of this.  Feeling like I’m really doing something to help others, plus teaching AND continuing to gain experience in ESOL.  My life seems to be turning in a new direction and I hope its a better direction.  The past two years have been professionally and emotionally hard.  I’m ready to only cry for things that deserve my tears – no more pettiness and lies.  3 more weeks!   {Edit}

This site is just too pretty!

{ April 23, 2006 @ 10:39 pm } · { Uncategorized } · { Comments } I’m not usually a big fan of green, but this site just looks so “exotic” and at least I’m a fan of that.  Here’s my new blog with the name of my potential bookstore that I dream of opening. I am aware that it does somewhat religious - but I am referring to the written word in general and not specifically religious based texts.  I’m an admirer of words in every language in every form so therefore I am a Citizen of the Word (all of them!).   {Edit}

Eva Cassidy is my therapy

{ December 3, 2005 @

Well after a debilatating bawling fest yesterday for hours, I might be continuing my doctoral study. Just because I was to screw it to them. As soon as I got home from work in the afternoon, I just could not stop crying. I mean rivers of non stop tears. All I could think to myself was if I could only get meds it could stop. It has been a rough week mentally, expectations wise. I didn’t get the early intervention training specialist job. I called an left a message on Monday after I finally got access to my voicemail and the following day I got the official rejection email. Another to add to the collection. I looked on the jobsite and the job was still posted, they’re still searching, they just didn’t want me. My dad tells me not to take these things personally, but thats hard to do. I do not have much hope for the other job either, it would be a pleasant surpise if I did get offered, haven’t heard anything in weeks, so I guess they are still looking. Today I went grocery shopping with an expert(a blind expert), she had several neat technological advances to assist the visually impaired, an inspiring person in general. I listened to Eva today, always helping me out of my rut. Thanks, Eva you are missed, even though I didn’t know you personally. Guess what ! I got another 3 numbers in the lotto. I think this the 5th time in a year. Now I need to get all 6.   {Edit}

Finding the Bliss

{ November 26, 2005 @ 10:11 am } · { Uncategorized } · { Comments } In my constant state of confusion and indecision, I decided to start this blog to just spill I guess.Background Info:I’m a teacher. A special education teacher actually for a kindergarten through second grade classroom. I was originally hired to just teach kindergarten, because that what I want, but as those of you in public education know special education teachers get dumped on and therefore I know have 20 students with special needs in one classroom. Now I ask you, if these children could handle being in a class with 19 other students would they placed in special education in the first place. Now they must compete with 19 other children who have the same or sometimes worse difficulties as them, instead of the small classroom that special education students should have. Only in the primary grades, they already being institutionally disabled.
I am a student. I doctoral student/Master’s student. I am currently persuing a doctoral degree in Urban special education and a Master’s degree in Visual Impairments. I’ve doing this double duty for a year now, and its hard to admit, but one of them has to be put to sleep. Problem is, I want both and I want them both before I’m 30. Doesn’t look like its going to happen that way though. Yes, I ‘ll say it. I cannot do both while working full time and even if I wasn’t I still couldn’t do it both. It comes down to what are my plans (a topic I will be exploring in a later post) according to my doctoral advisor who so creatively ambushed me one day after class to tell me that I need to be more focused pursuing doctoral studies and to give this vision “business” a rest. At the moment, I am leaning toward the vision degree, simply because its more interesting and relatable to me. I have discovered that doctoral studies really have nothing to do with life. Maybe I’m just too practical for the Ph.d route. But I do want it, and forgive the shallow side of me for saying that it sounds so more impressive than having 2 masters. I have been having a difficult with my doctoral studies. It really has broken me down and they say it happens to everyone and part of growing in the program is building your self back up. Change is not supposed to be comfortable. Well, I guess my difficulty here is telling the program directors I’m not going on. It’s hard to admit that I failed. I don’t want to be a failure. My dad always told me the only time you fail is when you quit.